How do you know?

How do you know what is a dream if you never accomplished one? How do you know what is an adventure if you never took part in one? How do you know what is anguish if you never said goodbye to your family and friends with your eyes full of tears? How do you know what is being desperate, if you never arrived in a place alone and could not understand a word of what everyone else was saying? How do you know what is diversity if you never lived under the same roof with people from all over the world? How do you know what is tolerance, if you never had to get used to something different even if you didn’t like it. How do you know what is an opportunity, if you never caught one? How do you know what is pride, if you never experienced it for yourself at realizing how much you have accomplished?. How do you know what is to seize the day, if you never saw the time running so fast? How do you know what is a friend, if the circumstances never showed you the true ones. How do you know what is a family, if you never had one that supported you unconditionally? How do you know what is autonomy, if you never had the chance to decide something by yourself? How do you know what it means to grow up, if you never stopped being a child to start a new course? How do you know what is to be helpless, if you never wanted to hug someone and had a computer screen to prevent you from doing it? How do you know what is distance, if you never, looking at a map, said “I am so far away”? How do you know what is a language, if you never had to learn one to make friends? How do you know what is patriotism, if you never shouted “ I love my country” holding a flag in your hands? How do you know what is the true reality, if you never had the chance to see a lot of them to make one. How do you know what are borders, if you never crossed yours, to see what there was on the other side? How do you know what is imagination, if you never thought about the moment when you would go back home? How do you know the world, if you have never seen it through the eyes of a true citizen?

Observations.

Observations.
Things you notice.
Things you observe.
Things you pay attention to.

Observations are so intriguing. You watch how things can change or differ from what you know. Its so very interesting to make the connection of what is and what was. I have come to know things are not "weird" here, they are just different. And I am okay with that. But just so you all know, I am going to return wanting only carbonated water, coffee, cake, and bread. I don't think I've ever eaten so much coffee, cake, bread, and even carbonated water. Haaha.

Living here, in Germany, I have taken notice of so many things that are different from Florida. So, here it is.

They have no idea what a Band-Aid is. Yes, I did need one, or three.

No ice cubes. Anywhere.
Toilets have a button for more water or less water.
No air conditioning. Anywhere.
Water has gas; always. Water without gas is not an option. (gas = carbonation) 
but its called gas here?
All top level rooms have slanted ceilings. With slanted windows.
All houses have a minimum of three stories.
English is getting harder to remember every day.
Schiße is said so much.
Coffee and cake is an everyday thing. At any time. 
There is no "lunch time" it's eat something if you are hungry around 2. And then 
we will eat at 5. And then again at 7. 
If you say you like something it will automatically be purchased.
German people always want to know what the English word is. 
They also don't know the difference between many and much; it's quite funny to 
hear them go back and forth on what sounds right. 
They do whatever they please whenever they please.
Doors are always shut.
Windows are always open.
There is no "look" to an American, so nobody thinks I am american until they ask me a question I don't        know how to answer.  
There is also no "look" to a German.
Germans LOVE "How I Met Your Mother". I don't understand the fascination.
Beer is welcome at anytime of the day, at any meal. But, always served in a tall 
glass. No beer mugs, crazy huh?
Wine is also offered often. And you always say yes. 
It's always "hot" out, even when it is a cool 60 degrees f. 
Liederhosen is only worn by tourists...
There are heaters in every room.
They say "see you later, alligator". 
Bitte, Schön, und Genau are common words.
You're either catholic or you're catholic. 
An outside pool is found one in every 100 kilometers . An inside one, one in 
every 50 kilometers. 
They will always offer you food, coffee and water. And they get offended when you say 
no. 
They are the nicest and most welcoming people ever.
It is strange to smile at a stranger.
Cars can and will go up to 220kph.
If you go 120 on the autobahn expect to be in the far right lane. Everybody will 
pass you.
There are random bathrooms on the side of the autobahn. One about every 20km.
They love their eis. (ice cream). Especially spaghetti eis.
If you are on a bike and you don't move, they will run you over. Or just drive 
past you very close and very, very fast.
They can maneuver their cars very well and in very tight spaces at very high 
speeds.
Fußball is not for girls.
They take pride in their gardens and are envious of better ones.
There are no "free refills".
All taxis here are off-white Mercedes.
You are always offered a seat.
Some Germans can drink and drink and drink some more and be perfectly fine.

It is perfectly okay to say fuck and shit even in the most formal setting. Here, they are not "bad words" They are normal speech.

This is my list so far. 

Welcome Dreamers.

I have no words for what I have seen or heard or eaten or experienced. I just have no words to describe exactly how I feel or exactly how everything is. It is something you have to experience.
Trying to sit here and write this, I am getting emotional, because I know that I would not be here today if it wasn't for all the people who have helped me get to this point, my parents, my brother, friends, and especially God. This has been the hardest but most exhilarating week. I have laughed, I have cried, I have slept, I have danced, I have cleared the table (which is a first), I have done so many things that I never would have imagined to be possible....but they are; and I am here, I really am here. I still think it is a dream.

My host mom said something the other day, and it is so very true. We were talking about the family going to America in the next 2 years or so, and she was continuing on about saying that it was only a dream. She then said "but, it is necessary to have dreams, to be able to make them come true." I then realized that only a year ago, I never knew I would be here today. I never knew what was ahead for me. I realized that this was my dream. And now, I am here. Part of a small city in Germany, living my dream. Only a few months ago, I had committed to this, not knowing my life would change everyday. My life has been changing ein bisschen (a little) everyday. My vocabulary is getting bigger everyday. My heart is growing closer to Germany everyday. I am understanding the culture better everyday.

Listen to this. ----->

Sooooo now on to more exciting things, haha,

 My trip to HEILDELBURG und WORMS:

They are both beautiful cities. We went to Worms first. Worms is the city where my great great great great great great grandfather came from in either the 1700 or 1800 hundreds; I can't remember. But, I went there. We walked through the Dom (pronounced dome), which is one of the largest and oldest catholic churches in Germany. It was constructed in 1000 A.D. so it's very possible that my grandfather went there. Worms is also home to the oldest Jewish Synagogue in Germany. So we could've been Jewish too. I really don't know. But, it is all possible!

In Heidelburg, we went to the Schloss (castle) and we walked through it. It was very very beautiful. The ruins of the castle are just magnificent. We walked the Philosophenweg, which is more like a hike; through this very narrow path. But at the peak of the walk, you have the most beautiful sight of die Schloss und Neckar. Neckar is the river that the Schloss overlooks. It is a separate river than the Rhine, but they meet at some points. Also, we had ice eram that day too, I was given "spaghetti eis" which was amazing. It is ice cream that looks like spaghetti. It has a red strawberry puree on top with crumbled white chocolate for Parmesan cheese. It was delicious.

During these few days I stayed with grandma und grandpa Stauber. It was a lovely few days. They are the sweetest. They also speak no english, haha. But we played board games and laughed all night long. Grandma Stauber made homemade pretzels and bread for breakfast. it was a lovely time.

Sweet Serendipity.

Automatic.

Every thing is automatic.

All the windows, the garage, the cars, the doors, the lights. Everything.

Automatic is to have something done, or to do something without hassle or without thinking.
Things are becoming automatic.

I automatically clear the table.
I automatically say jah.
I automatically laugh at what are jokes, that I don't yet understand.

Things come naturally. Its crazy to think about all the things you do without thinking. Driving, Shopping, Writing your name on a paper, everything is automatic. Crazy how things can go from coming natural to becoming automatic...Very different but now, people use it interchangeably.

It's all so very; automatic.

Dinners are on average 3 hours long. Its a traditional setting to take time to truly hear how someone is, and how their day was; or even to explain the meaning of sonnenblumen. Its beautiful. The table is always set with place mats, cups, for kaffe und wasser, forks for dinner and forks for cake. There is always cake. Nobody has somewhere to be, its always leisurely, time is not an issue. It's lovely.

I will go to Heidelberg tomorrow morning after Theresa goes to the airport. There are castles and many beautiful things there. It is right on the Rhine river. So I am very excited to be able to go there, I will be meeting more family there too; we will stay there until Friday. So it will be very fun.


Acknowledge the little things in life sometimes, like sonnenblumen.

Sweet Serendipity.

Glücklich Tag

I genuinely don't know how to begin writing this.

First off, my grammar is starting to get worse and worse. My English grammar, that is. And my German is getting better and better every day. I'm starting to not think about things.

First off though, my first day was a dream. Beautiful. I saw this house, with a Brasilian flag up, and soon to be an American flag too. It is in a perfect little village in a perfect little mountainside overlooking a perfect little valley in a perfect little country.Time is flying by though.

I was welcomed in the home with cheesecake, champagne, and wonderful company of friends and family. They used their best china, very old china, in fact, so much it couldn't be in the dishwasher.

Later on, more friends came over and we watched shooting stars blaze across the sky. It was incredible. I couldn't hardly count how many we saw. It was more that I had ever seen in my entire life.

The next day (Sunday) We woke up early to go to church. It was the first time I had ever been to a Catholic Church. It was a beautiful service, although I had no idea what they were saying the entire time. The church was just amazing in itself. Stained glass, tall walls, pews, communion, it was all perfect.

Later on, we went to a little lake "Sorpesee" and we rented pedalboats and just drifted around for a while. We also had a quaint picnic with these cookies that were oh so very good. Don't worry, I'll bring some home. I have made many new friends; I also have many plans with these friends. It's great.

Sonnenblumen!

I can write more later, but my internet is not very good some times. But I am grateful for what I have now. It's lovely.

Sweet Serendipity.

Amalie.

Last night I witnessed what would happen to me 3 days from now. Walking in to a home with open arms, exciting times, tears, hugs, laughs, awkward moments, the whole package of emotions. It's so strange to be watching a situation that will happen to me. It's almost mind blowing. 

Amalie. What a beautiful name. She is so sweet, and so grateful to be here, to be in a new place, with a new family. There's that word that I like; new. 

We stayed up late, ate lots of food, and just bonded. She will forever be my sister, although we only have 3 days to form the bond. It is already there. I hope that my families in Germany will be just as loving as my family was to welcome her in. 

It was a perfect first night.

Sweet serendipity. 

Glub Glub.

Off the coast of the relaxing and beautiful beach of Key Largo, Florida I snorkeled today and had the most amazing time. 

I imagine the coral reefs to be like little cities in the ocean for the fish. and the smaller coral reefs to almost be suburban. The fish just carry on about their day. They don't bother you, if you don't bother them. It was the most captivating sight though. To see the fish swimming with their schools, and to come across lobster in a setting where their claws aren't taped and ready to be eaten. It was just majestic; to swim alongside stingrays and to be able to be free. 

Do you ever wonder how they manage to just float on by. To live. To swim. To be part of an ecosystem that is so awe-inspiring to our population. The fish can do whatever they please. They can relocate to South America without having to worry about what language they need to learn, or how to pack their bags and move. Their greatest worry in life is how to obtain food to survive. It just fascinates me.  

I realized that although I had a "buddy" I was completely alone with my thoughts, my own head voice, and as crazy as this sounds; my instincts. It was so peaceful and serene. The water, clear as day and the bluest of blues, was absolutely perfect. I felt almost as if I was part of the habitat. Just to be able to be there and to float; to just exist. No need to try to impress. No need to worry about what was happening in a few hours. It was great to just be in the moment. I have come to find that is one of the hardest things to do. To just be in the moment. You should try it sometime. 

What happens one day when this opportunity won't be available? I know that our environments are slowly disintegrating. It completely baffles me that one day, someday, this might not be available to anybody. It's a beautiful sight to witness. Life is all about the moments that create memories. Good little moments. 

You cannot cross the sea by just looking at the water. 

Sweet serendipity.  

Good Riddance.

This is song is the definition of how I am determining my year.
It describes how I am right now. 


~I am now at this moment all that I need to be.

Tonight.

Tonight marked the night that I first realized I was leaving. Yes, I've been saying that I am leaving, yes I've been preparing for departure, yes I've been packing. Yes I've been going through the motions that lead up to going on a typical trip; but this trip is different. This trip will take 525,600 minutes. One full year.

Tonight four of my best friends surprised me with a bombardment of silly string, balloons, ice cream, board games, laughs, jokes, and of course tacos. Believe me, I had no idea that they were coming. I was even taking my afternoon nap when they surprised me. It was at that moment though, that I realized I would be leaving all that I have come to know and love will no longer be within a ten minute drive. It brought tears to my eyes that tonight would be the last time I could be with them. So, instead of sulking around we enjoyed the company and pigged out. What else would we do?















But what is it that we really know? I know that I can breathe due to the respiratory system. I know that a goldfish has an attention span of 3 seconds. I know that I will be spending my next year in Germany.
What I don't know is why the body breathes due to the respiratory system. Or why a goldfish can only hold their attention on one thing for 3 seconds. I don't know how my life will differ when I return from my exchange year. I don't know what experiences or adventures or even misadventures I will have next year.


One thing I know is that I am me. I am ready for this. 


Leaving everything to arrive with one suitcase. Arriving to meet a family I haven't really conversed with, to go to a school where I know nobody, to be on a soccer (football) team with people I have never played with. It's just fascinating to me. The stories, the people, the culture, the language, it's all so intriguing. Making my dreams come true, I am so proud of myself, and yet so proud of my family; my country. I get the chance of a lifetime; to represent my country in a land that doesn't yet know me, that doesn't yet know the impact I will have on their life.


 The feeling I have right now is bittersweet. So excited to embark on a new adventure. So determined to help change this world into a better place. So sad to leave home, my family, friends, support system. So confused as to what home will be in the next few weeks. Its all new feelings. New. I love that word. New.


Sweet Serendipity.